Our last art assignment
So, for this assignment we got to choose ourselves what we wanted to do and I took to opportunity to make something I can relate to, while still doing it in my own art style with the kind of media I enjoy working with.
To explain the assignment shortly, I'm supposed to create a drawing that reflected how I am with others as well as how I truly am/feel.
Inspiration and background:
My inspiration for this assignment were from one of my favorite artist called DestinyBlue. Blue, as she likes to be called, is a self-taught artist living in the United Kingdom. She used, however, enjoy taking art classes until one day her teacher told her that “cartoons are not art”, in which she disagreed and showed no further interest in taking art classes. At the age of 13 she began to draw daily, "less study more drawing" , as she put it herself.
She is one of the few artist I’ve came across who refuse to take commissions. DestinyBlue herself says that “if someone is controlling my pen with their money I find it stifling”, she enjoys drawing because she thinks staying independent is important and she want to be able to tell her own stories through her art.
Some of my favorite artworks from DestinyBlue
As you can probably tell from her art she likes to show "the hidden meanings" in each one of them. Trying to express what words can't. Blue recently came out to admit that she suffers from mental illness, explaining how she thought it started and where she is now. Trying to explain how she had those thoughts about taking her life, how she tried her best to pull through and what her mind keeps telling her. I think you can see that pretty clearly in her art.
She shows through her art that you try to act like nothing is wrong, you try to hide it but the tears leave scars and other imprints on your body, though not might be visible for everybody. How you just want to show everyone how you really feel and that we all have missing pieces, how school makes you feel like you are trapped, how you put on a smile to hide your frown.
In almost all her art she also use vivid colors. The reason to this can be the fact that vivid colors, bold and bright, gives of an intense feeling and I think that is what she wants to make people feel while looking at her art.
DestinyBlue is a big inspiration and I find her art beautiful. I think they give off a good message and she want to show awareness in what people neglect. "I draw because some things I can't express with words"
As for my own art piece for my last assignment, it looks like this:
(colors differ a lot since it's photographed not scanned, going to scan as soon as possible)
So to explain my thoughts behind this artwork I want to quickly refer back to what the assignment was about; To show the you in public, together with others as well as the real you.
I've asked a few people how they see me as a person and the answer I got the most was weird, happy and funny. So letting other people describe me they tell me I'm an outgoing person that's always happy and smile a lot, I like to make others happy and I'm cozy and lovable. When I'm trying to explain to myself how I really am, I don't really see a lot of those words fitting in on me. But I guess we all act like that when with others?
I'm pretty much "a loner", I enjoy being alone but not lonely. I've never really fit in anywhere before and I'm shy. I haven't always been thought. As a kid I got along with everyone, played with everyone. But in second grade, were I found my interest in east asian culture grow bigger, I read more manga, watched more anime, my taste in music took a U-turn. People found it weird. Suddenly I was different, the outcast. As time passed I had fewer and fewer friends and soon enough, in about 4th grade, none at all.
I got used to being by myself, maybe someone talked to me every now and then but that was mostly asking what next class was or to borrow a pencil.
Being alone for most my school time probably did something to me, but I'm not sure what, since I'm so used to it. I've always been shy and suddenly holding oral presentations in front of the class was the scariest thing I knew. Even thought now, in high school, I had the luck to be placed in the best class I could ask for, but I still feel the past close by. Oral presentations is still something that scare the living out of me and I always try my best to sneak around it or not do it at all. Suddenly it's not about what people I'm presenting in front it, now it's everyone, always.
I've had the thoughts about hurting myself and even taking my life at some point, why I'm writing this, I'm not sure. It's good to get it off of your chest for once I guess. But if it wasn't for the fact that I've managed to get two really close friends, as well as my new ones in high school I grow closer to for everyday, I'm not sure what I'd be doing now.
The thoughts are still there every now and then, I feel pathetic and not sure what to do, I suck at everything and want to drop out of school, I can't handle the pressure and suddenly the easiest task for someone is the hardest for me. Mental breakdowns is not that rare these days. I used to be a kid that barely cried, not even when I ran and fell, scraping my knee, accidentally cut myself while using the scissors and what not. But the amount I've cried since starting high school makes me wonder why? I'm not sure myself, but I just get the mental breakdowns out of nowhere at times. Locking myself into the toilets at school has become more usual. You just sit there, cry, dry your tears and make sure to put on the smile before you leave, no one notices. I don't blame them thought, it's not their fault, I don't want them to notice, I rather keep it to myself than bother others with it, but at some point I guess awareness is good, that's why I wanted to draw this.
For once when I drew I wanted to make it mean something more, in which I decided to look up the meanings about different colors and paint it with more accuracy for once. So in case you're still reading and want to know how I connected the colors with the artwork, keep reading.
The person on the left is wearing a blue shirt with a hint of gray. Blue is said to be a color of melancholy, resignation, depression and it usually has a deeply sentimental meaning. The expression "feeling blue" explains it quite good I think. While the find of gray is used to express "sadness". Her skirt is black to express fear, death, evil, anger, unhapppines, morbid and negativity. I think these colors represent what I wanted to show pretty good, the anger and sadness I feel, the morbid and negativity I find and my thoughts about death.
The person on the right is wearing a red-pinkish colors since it's used to express happiness, excitement, love, strength, calm, caring and outgoing. Her skirt is also white, which shows innocence, simplicity, youth and cleanliness. I connect this to the fact that people see me as a pretty outgoing, happy person that's lovable and how others love in the things I do.
The flower in the lower, left corner is in a salmon/coral color and I've read about roses and the different meanings with different colored roses. The salmon and coral ones is used to show desire, and I connected it to the rest because of the desire I had to wanting to show how I really am/feel and the desire I had about hurting myself and just letting it all go.
While the flower in the top, right corner is in a pink, and pink roses are used to show gratitude and sweetness. I chose this color because I'm grateful for everything that side of me get to experience, the love from friends, the safety and the fun I get to experience. The sweetness part is from both sides I think, people use to say I'm a sweet person, even thought I don't see it myself, as well as the kindness I get from peopel.
The rest of the flowers in the right side (bottom corner) is in a yellow, light purple and orange. These colors are used to express joy, happiness, hope, life, creativity and fearlessness.
The colors or the backgrounds also has an explanation, in which the right side's background is in a pink and yellow, these colors represent love, romance, calm, caring, joy, happiness and hope, and I think it sums up that side pretty good, everything should be positive, not a sinlge negative thought.
While the other side has a black/gray and blue background, to show the fear, evil, death, anger, remorse, depression, melancholy and sadness, summing up that side pretty good in what I wanted to convey.
And to explain the pieces shown in the artwork, keep reading even more, hahah (sorry for the long post.)
Okay, so to explain the left side first. The girl, which is supposed to represent me, is crying because of well, a lot of things honestly (read the long text above), and no light in her eyes as she sees nothing good in anything, only the negative parts. The skeleton hanging in the background is supposed to show my thoughts about death an suicide, how I used to feel before. I also placed it in the back to kind of show that “it was the past” in some kind of way. The chains in the background, as well as the ropes and noose is to show that I’m trapped. I’m stuck with these thoughts whether I want to or not. I’m stuck, can’t leave. I’m holding onto my other half because I don’t want to let go of the good parts in life that makes me happy.
While the me on the right side is happy, smiling and the lights in her eyes as she sees the good part of life. I’m not sure of what kind of flower it is in the lower corner, but it’s some kind of mix of violet and orchid, in a weird way. Orchids are used to represent perfection in, and violets to show faithfulness and humility. The music notes in the background to show my love for music, music always makes me happy. I’m also clinging onto my other self because I refuse to let it go, as well as I somehow want to show that “I’m not alone”.
The focus (punctum) in my picture is the expressions, that’s why they’re placed in the center of the paper, so that would be the first thing you notice. As for perspective I chose to have it right in front, not bird’s-eye view perspective, nor low angle/worm’s-eye view perspective. Why? Well, because drawing/photographing something from a bird’s eye view perspective is used to “look down” on something, pretty literally, why a low angle perspective can be used to show dominance, and since one side of the drawing shows something you can look up to and the other something that is looked down upon, I decided that having it drawing from a one point perspective, at least the main part of the drawing, was the best choice.
Sources: Incredible @rt Department , Not sure what the site was called here, Art & Fine tips with Lori McNee, DestinyBlue's Deviantart